Artist: Austrian Death Machine
Title: “Jingle All The Way”
Label: Metal Blade Records
Release Date: 12/19/2011
Genre: Death Metal/Comedy Metal
Rating: 2.5/5
Just when you thought it was safe to do your holiday shopping it would seem that Tim Lambesis and Ahnold were back and ready to give you another slap in the chops as only their Austrian Death Machine project can. Their two new songs are done with the Christmas season in mind and offer homage to the 1996 comedy film “Jingle All The Way” (hence the title); If for some reason you don’t recall the film based on your age group, well it starred Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad who played the part of two dads hunting for a last minute Christmas present for their respective sons. A “Turbo Man” action figure. The hijinks and catch phrases in the film are played out in these two songs. The third track originally hails from the bands “Double Brootal” album and pokes a little fun at the guttural growling that is prevalent in most Death Metal bands.
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Artist: Austrian Death Machine
Title: “Double Brutal”
Label: Metal Blade Records
Release Date: 9/29/2009
Genre: Actioncore
Rating: 3.5/5
I have to admit that I shook my head when I saw the release “Total Brutal” by Austrian Death Machine because I was not too sure what it was all about, and when I realized that it was a parody project by As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis that offered homage to all things Arnold Schwarzenegger, I smiled and said “genius”. Let’s face it, if you have seen any number of Arnold’s movies over the course of your life, you cannot argue their own unique level of “Metal-ness” when it comes right down to it. “Total Brutal” was the “groups” first effort and featured tunes like “Get To The Choppa” and employed some killer riffage and frequent commentary by someone known only as “Ahhnold”. It’s actually quite interesting and entertaining to listen to and should amuse you greatly if you are a Metal fan and a follower of the king of action movies and after a holiday EP was released Tim and Ahhnold would hit the bomb shelters and began formulating a second attack for the project. Such is the release we now hold in our hands called “Double Brutal” which obviously continues their premise and even opts to kick it up a notch. Before one can listen to this, they have to separate themselves from the super serious Death and Thrash Metal that is out there and realize that this project is done with a supreme tongue in cheek vibe and designed to make you laugh out loud and perhaps even offer up your own best Arnold impression as the release plays out. Like its predecessor, “Double Brutal” is using various catch phrases by Arnold from his most famous movies such as “Terminator 2”, “Commando” and “Total Recall”. They also use some of the weirder ones like “Kindergarten Cop” and “Batman & Robin” (where Arnold played Mr. Freeze) and it makes for some very diverse Metal exploring. As you might expect, almost every song is about destruction or maiming of some kind and in case you were wondering, Lambesis plays all instruments across the album and has the occasional guest star on lead guitar where necessary. Highlights of the first CD are “I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots and Your Motorcycle” and “Hey Cookie Monster”, the latter being a song that says if you are going to sing like Cookie Monster you might as well have a song about cookies.
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Artist: Austrian Death Machine
Title: “A Very Brutal Christmas”
Label: Metal Blade Records
Release Date: 11/25/2008
Genre: Holiday Heavy Metal
Rating: 3/5
If you thought that “Total Brutal” would be the last that you heard of Austrian Death Machine, well founder and sole band member Tim Lambesis is ready to prove you wrong with a Thrash-laden and funny follow up to the release with “A Very Brutal Christmas”. Many know Lambesis as the singer for As I Lay Dying, and considering the music industry is one that often finds performers utilizing their talents on additional outlets for their downtime, Austrian Death Machine seems to be just what the doctor ordered for Tim. Of course having heard both albums now, I am pretty sure that the doctors have realistically prescribed him serious levels of medications for adventure into lunacy. Don’t get me wrong, the premise is hilarious and finds Tim performing alongside an additional musician/singer called “Ahhnold”, who sounds a whole lot like California’s Terminator Governor Schwarzenegger. This is actually Tim doing a reasonable impersonation of Mr. S. as he would sound in his action movie persona and if he sang co-lead vocal in a Metalcore band. The CD “A Very Brutal Christmas” follows along the same path that they laid down with “Total Brutal” and finds them covering the time honored Christmas classic “Jingle Bells” but with a decidedly Thrash Metal twist. I actually liked the way that “they” did this but that’s only because I had been warmed up to such off kilter Christmas tunes by Twisted Sister and then all the players on “We Wish You A Metal X-Mas”. Sadly this was the only Christmas tune on the album which made me wonder more about the title they chose. The second track plays upon the Ahhnold identity quite a bit with “Get To The Choppa”, a phrase that we know Arnold has coined in more movies than one can count. Readers need to remember that Lambesis’ love for Arnold movies is what led to this project in the first place and that the debut is chock full of movie references. Sadly the album is over before you know it and like I said I found the idea of this hilarious so was amused to death at the idea of Arnold singing the Judas Priest staple “Hell Bent For Leather”. This track is for all those Priest fans who sat back and wondered just how the song would sound if the actor were to give it a go.
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